Most years “someone” in our family writes a Christmas letter. Here is this years installment! Merry Christmas!
Hello Family and Friends of the Jensens,
Mom said she doesn’t really have time to write a letter this year so I – Booger the Cat – am sneaking one in. You people need to know what really happens in this house. You’ll notice I’m not in the Christmas Card picture as usual. At least they also left the mongrels out this year so that does give me a tiny bit of satisfaction.
Let me fill you in on those blockhead dogs first since people seem to love them so much. They are awful. Walter and his giant feet stomp all over the house and interrupt my naps constantly. Shelby is obsessed with me, always following me around like she expects me to do something spectacular. As if my natural beauty and arrogance isn’t spectacular enough. It’s so irritating I either hide under the bed or downstairs where the dogs can’t go. They’re both apparently healthy, much to my dismay.
Then there’s the people. Papa is fine. He leaves most every morning to work at the Foundry. Then he’s always outside messing with those few cows. Lately he’s been spending a lot of time at his folks apparently working on a shed. I’ve heard there’s going to be a house there eventually. Hopefully the dogs don’t come with. That hope is what keeps me going. I’m no spring chicken anymore at 12 years old and a cat needs something to look forward to.
Mom is always doing something. This summer she was gone most nights taking pictures. Now she doesn’t have to do that quite as much but she still spends a lot of time in her office. Some nights she leaves to go waitress at Simpson’s. That tells me she’s perfectly capable of giving people food and yet my dish is almost empty somedays. I mean, I let her know about it but I don’t really see why that’s not top priority. Plus she’s always taking the rugrats somewhere.
Some of the best moments in my day are around 7:30 am when the people leave the house. Mads has to go to 1st grade and Beau goes to Kindergarten. I guess they’re both doing well. But on Wednesdays she doesn’t take them. They do something called “virtual learning”. Apparently they’re not “virtually learning” how to be quiet and let a cat get some rest. As soon as they finish school they’re either playing loudly or fighting loudly. I miss summer when they’d be outside all day long.
Then there’s that little one, Levi. I was okay with him until right around Halloween. Then he started walking and the world came crashing down around me. I have to lay on the back of the couch most days so he can’t reach me. He’s getting bigger every day and that concerns me. And he’s loud too.
You know, when I became a part of this family there was one big black dog who didn’t pay me any mind. We were in a tiny little house that suited me just finePapa and Mama were around the house a lot and they were usually pretty quiet. Now three houses later I would think I’ve been thrown into a zoo. Whoever thought we needed more dogs and these loud crazy children are out of their minds. Papa and Mama seem to like all of this and I’m really wondering about their mental health.
I hope all of you have a nice quiet Christmastime. I’ll be here, trying to avoid the chaos and waiting for the house to be empty so I can play with that weird tree in the corner.
Booger the Cat, Head of the Jensen Family
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